Have you ever been asked by someone, "Do you mind if....?" What is your response? Since the question implies that what he or she may do would bother you, shouldn't you respond with, "No, I don't mind."? In other words, "No, it doesn't bother me." Why then has there been a shift in the meaning of this phrase? People seem to think that "Do you mind if ...?" is synonymous with "Is it OK if ...?" In actuality, it is not.
Here are some examples of the incorrect way in which to answer that pesky question:
Example: During the episode "Fool's Gold" of "The Closer", LAPD Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson asks Lieutenant Tao, "Do you mind helping Captain Raydor?" He replies, "Sure." I am sure he does not mind since that is his job.
Example: In the 2001 movie "What Girls Learn", 14 year old Tilden's step-father is going outside for a smoke. She asks, "Mind if I come?" He answers, "Sure." and she joins him.
Example: On "Royal Pains", episode "A Guesthouse Divided", Dr. Hank Lawson is having a farewell lunch with his friend and former lover Jill who is about to leave to work in Africa. As he moves from across the table in order to sit beside her, he inquires, "Do you mind if I ...?" She says, "Yes." and makes room for him on the bench.
Example: On an episode of "Frasier", the titular Doctor Crane is sick in bed. His brother Niles comes to visit. When the phone rings, Frasier says, "Oh Niles, would you mind?" indicating that Niles should answer the phone. Niles responds, "Of course." Perhaps Niles was put out by having to answer his brother's phone but he answered it anyway.
Example: On "The Big Bang Theory" episode entitled "The Terminator Decoupling", Howard says to an actress that he meets on a train, "Would you mind if I just take one picture of us together for my Facebook page?" She answers, "Sure." In this case, she probably does mean "Sure I mind. That would bother me." But I don't think that's what the writers intended since Howard then goes ahead and takes the picture.
Notice that the question can be asked in a number of ways: "Do you mind...?" " Mind if ....?"
"Would you mind if ...? And there are a variety of answers as well: "Yes." "Sure." "Of course."
Rarely is the answer "No, I don't mind." or "Not at all." But here are a few cases when the query was answered correctly.
Example: On tv's "Modern Family", episode "Egg Drop", Mitchell and Cam are interviewing a possible surrogate. She says, "Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" Mitchell responds, "Not at all."
Bravo Mitchell!
Example: In the movie "The Recruit", Colin Ferrell's character James Clayton runs into his friend Layla at a bar. She wants to sit down at his table and politely inquires, "Do you mind?" He says, "No, of course not." Excellent response, James.
Example: In "Catching Fire" by Suzanne Collins, Peeta and Katniss are in the arena. Peeta is wearing a mockingjay medallion around his neck and asks her, "Do you mind that I used your mockingjay? I wanted us to match." Katniss responds, "No, of course I don't mind." Perfect!
Example: In Wendy Wasserstein's book "Elements of Style", Charlie asks Francesca, "Darling, do you mind if I smoke?" She answers, "No, fine with me." Hurrah.
Well, Readers, I ask you, "Did you mind reading about this common mistake?" I sure hope that you respond, "No, not at all. I rather enjoyed it."
Until my next posting...
