Bad Vocabulary

Dear Readers,

    The Random House Dictionary of the English Language defines "vocabulary" as:  the stock of words used by a particular people.  Since this blog's goal is to defend the English language, this month I will focus on when people have used the wrong word.  I find it quite entertaining.  I hope you do too.

     First, I will give you some examples of the wrong word used in a common expression.

Example:  When I visited the Maloof House, curator and board member John Scott gave praise to a gentleman who was invaluable to him in setting up the current exhibit.  He said, "Give him a hand of applause."  I believe the correct word is "round" of applause, or he could have just said, "a hand."

Example:  On "America's Got Talent", episode 15, Emcee Nick Cannon said, "Well, we know that Howard Stern is in raw form tonight."  Howard may be known for his "raw" comments on the radio, but I think Nick meant to say "rare" form.
     
Example:  During the episode "The Fall Guy" on TV's "Necessary Roughness," therapist Dr. Dani Santino and her sister Ronnie discuss their dysfunctional upbringing.  Ronnie says, "Look, I don't know what gene pool you came from but ma, dad and me, we were all, uh, three peas in a basket case."  Since Dr. Dani is a therapist, perhaps Ronnie was mixing her metaphor for effect, but she did use the wrong expression.  It should have been "in a pod."

Example:  In Under the Dome by Stephen King, physician's assistant Rusty Everett and Romeo Burpee are on a quest to see what is creating the dome which appeared over their town.  They think it may be radioactive.  Rusty says to Romeo, "If worst comes to worst, get the rest of the lead roll, stick pieces in the windows of whatever you're driving, and scoop me up."  The correct word should be
"worse", because the quality progresses from bad to worse, and worse to the worst.

     Next, we see examples of some very creative vocabulary.

Example:  Doug McIntyre, talk host on KABC talk radio asked a caller, "Where is Bedford in relationship to .....[another city]?  The word he meant to use was "relation".

Example:  Also heard on KABC talk radio, a caller to Sean Hannity's program said, "I'm in agreeance with you."  Say what???  Maybe he meant "agreement."

Example:  On "The Bachelorette", suitor Arie says to bachelorette Emily about her decision to send another suitor home, "Basically, I just wanted to say that I find it, um, so encouraging that you're such a good judgment of character."  The right word is "judge," and I am glad she was.  She didn't choose Arie as her fiancé.

Example:  During an episode of "Shark Tank", two entrepreneurs offer to the Sharks a project for helping the environment.  Shark Lori Greiner says to them, "I'm for anything that helps the ecology..."   No, Lori, helps the "environment."

Example:  On another episode of "Shark Tank", Shark Daymond John asked the owner of Corks Away, "You're going to also create an ancillatory business?"  It's a good thing he's a business shark and not an English language shark because the word he wanted to use was "ancillary."


Example:  Steve Harvey hosts a daytime talk show.  In April 2013, guest Jessica Jones, the Coupon Queen, explained the best time to purchase big ticket items.  She said, "In January they have a big electronical convention..."  Oops!  She wanted to say, "electronics." 

Example:  Also on Steve Harvey's show,  a police officer from Texas explained how he got his nickname "Big Sexy".  He said, "I had a class with this coach.  He was pretty well physiqued."
We know what he meant, he just used a word that does not exist in our language.

Example:  Another guest on Steve Harvey's show was zoologist Jarod Miller.  He intended to bring out some exotic animals onto the stage and he knew that Steve was very uncomfortable with that.
So he said, "We can gauge your comfortability level..."  The correct word is "comfort."

Example:  Jay Leno had Sally Field as a guest on the November 8, 2012 airing of "The Tonight Show."  She was promoting the film "Lincoln".  Sally was commenting on the depth of her character, Mary Lincoln.  She said, "When you're doing something this depthful ..."  I suppose Mary had more depth than Sally who didn't know that the correct word was "deep".

Example:  On the TV show "Parenthood", brothers and business partners Adam and Crosby discuss their salaries.  Crosby:  "When we started this, I took a pretty big cut in pay."  Adam:  "So did I."
Crosby:  "It wasn't as brutal as mine."  Adam:  "No, it was the same, the same amount of brutalness."  The noun he was trying to use was "brutality".

Example:  In the episode "Je ne sais what?" on TV's "The Good Wife," a Chicago assistant D.A. makes a plea in front of the judge.  She said, "If we're sinking to this level of ludicrousity..."  The judge interrupts and asks, "Ludicrousity?" but she keeps on talking.  Hurray!  The judge realized how ludicrous it was to use this word.  [The correct word is "ludicrousness", I swear, your honor.]

*As I was writing these last seven examples, Spell Check underlined those incorrect words.  See, even the computer knows.

Here is an example of simply the wrong word used: 

Chief of Staff Dr. Hooten at fictitious Chelsea General Hospital on the television show "Monday Mornings" conducts his Mortality and Morbidity meeting.  It is held in a large amphitheater where he sits on the floor level and the doctors are in the graduated seating above.  He called on three surgeons and said, "Please ascend, take the stage."  Since they would need to come down to the stage level, he should have said, "Please descend."  Maybe the writers are dyslexic.

The following are examples of just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Example:  On "Criminal Minds,"  tech wizard Penelope Garcia is going through phone records to track information for the BAU team.  Agent Derek Morgan tells her, "The answer's in there somewhere.  You just gotta find it."  She responds, "All right, if you say so.   I will re-get this party started."  Did she forget about the word "again", as in "I will get this party started again."?

Example:  Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker, is trying to find a match for ex-NFL kicker Mitch Berger.  She brings in former NBA player John Salley, who is now happily married, to give some advice to Mitch.  She said, "Who's better than Mr. Salley to tell you how to non-be a Peter Pan anymore?"  What???

Lastly, I spotted this on a truck advertising D and J Hauling:  No Job to Small
Can you spot the wrong word?  I hope it doesn't take too long.

To summarize, No, you cannot invent words just because you don't know the real ones.  That's what dictionaries are for and why we study VOCABULARY.