No Thank You

Dear Readers,
 
This posting should actually be entitled  No "You're Welcome" because that is what I am going to write about this month.  I fear that this two-word social convention is going by the wayside.  In its place, I have seen or heard a variety of new social conventions entering my beloved English language.  I will give you the examples to prove it.

Example:  On the TV show "Murder in the First,"  San Francisco inspectors Mulligan and English (no pun intended) get valuable cell phone information from their communications technician.  Mulligan says, "Thank you, Keefer."  Keefer responds, "No sweat." 

Example:  Juan Pablo, notorious "Bachelor," is visited by Sharleen.  She wants to tell him that she is not at a place in their relationship where she thinks she ought to be and feels she should leave the show.  As they hug good-bye, she says, "Thank you."  He says, "Okay."

Example:  I heard this on NPR at the conclusion of an interview:  "Thank you for doing this."
The interviewee answers, "My pleasure."

Example:  Also heard at the end of an NPR interview:  "Thanks so much for being with us."
"Good to be here."

Example:  This one that I heard on KCRW really startled me.  Kevin from Spectrum was interviewed.  When the interviewer concluded, he said, "Kevin, thank you for being here."  Kevin said, "Hello..."

The most-often heard retort, is "No problem."  Continue reading for examples.

Example:  On an episode of "The Big Bang Theory," Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj have car trouble and call their neighbor Penny to come get them.  As she drives them home, Sheldon says, "Thank you, Penny."  She answers, "No problem."

Example:  In Donna Tartt's book The Goldfinch, Theo Decker's Ukranian-born friend Boris has done him a favor.  Theo does not acknowledge the fact, so Boris says, facetiously, "'Thank you, Boris.'
'Oh, no problem.'"

Example:  Attorney Alicia Florrick, on TV's "The Good Wife," is at the home of a client when a suicide takes place.  The police detective says to her, "Thank you for answering our questions, Mrs. Florrick."  She responds, "No problem."

Example:  Another attorney at Alicia's law firm has just met with a new lawyer who has merged his company with theirs.  At the conclusion of their business lunch, he says to her, "Thank you for meeting with me."  She answers, "No problem." 

Example:  In the film "Once," released in 2006, a Dublin street musician befriends a young Czech woman who shares his love of music.  After spending the day together, she says, "Thank you . . .  for the food and songs."  He replies, "No problem."

Example:  This one came from a March 2003 episode of "The King of Queens."  Doug and Carrie Heffernan are trying to be more honest in their marriage.  When Doug divulges something, Carrie says, "Well, thank you for telling me."  Doug answers, "Thank you for not getting upset."  She responds, "No problem."

This is my favorite example from The Liar, the Bitch and the Wardrobe by Allie Kingsley.
Wannabe fashion photographer Lucy Butler meets famous-for-being-famous Presley Dalton.  When Presley thanks her for her assistance during a photo shoot, Lucy responds, "You're welcome, thank you," and then asks herself, "Why had I thanked Presley Dalton for thanking me?  What was that?"
*That is my question to the following examples.

Example:  On TV's "Blue Bloods," NYPD Commissioner Frank Reagan asks to see a young officer to inform him that he won't be receiving a promotion.  When the meeting concludes, the Commissioner says, "Thanks for coming by, Officer."  The young man replies, "Thank you, sir."  *Why is the officer thanking the Commissioner for NOT promoting him?

Example:  KCRW/NPR has an inordinate amount of interviewees who, after being thanked for their interview, respond with "Thank you"  or "Thank you for having me" or "Thank you for inviting me" or "Thank you very much" or  "Many thanks" or "Thank you, Scott."  *I suppose they are thankful for being on the air, but very few people answer with "You're welcome."  I often wonder if they are coached on the phone beforehand to end by thanking the interviewer.  It sure seems like it.

Does anyone ever say "You're welcome" any more?  YES.  Here are the examples to prove it.

Example:  The titular character in the film "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason," is a journalist on assignment in Thailand.  When she is arrested and sent to jail for unknowingly smuggling drugs out of the country, her boyfriend, who is an attorney, shows up to get her out.  She says, "Thank you."  He answers, "You're welcome."  *Oh those British, so well-mannered.

Example:  On a different episode of "The Big Bang Theory," Sheldon, Howard and Raj capture a cricket that they found in Sheldon's apartment.  Raj admits he's freaked out by insects and Sheldon makes a joke.  He then says, "I made it to lessen your discomfort."  When Raj pauses and says nothing, Sheldon infers a tacit "Thank you" and says, "You're welcome."

Example:  As I was exiting the gym one morning, a young woman held the door open for me.  I said, "Thank you."  She said, "You're welcome."

Example:  A different day at the YMCA, the Hispanic cleaning lady held the door open for me.  I said to her, "Gracias" and she responded with, "You're welcome."  *Oh those bi-lingual Angelinos.

Example:  On the TV show "Mom," Christy's friend Regina, whom she befriended in AA, is entering prison for her crime of embezzlement.  She says her good-byes and to Christy she states, "You gave me a second chance and I will never stop thanking you for it."  They hug and Christy says, "You're welcome."  *Thank you, TV writers.

Example:  In the episode "Ram" on TV's "Person of Interest," Mr. Finch recalls speaking to Mr. Reese's predecessor who liked to take the pretty women he saved to bed.  He had said to the man, "The next time an attractive woman wants to thank you for saving her life, a simple 'You're welcome' should suffice."  *Succinctly put, Mr. Finch.  I thank you!

And to all my faithful readers, upon concluding this month's post, I say, "Thank you for reading my blog."    How you respond to that, I would very much like to know.