To Have and Have Not

Dear Readers,
  Have you ever noticed that sometimes in speech or in print, the helping verb "have" has been either omitted or misspelled?  What do I mean by "helping verb?"  Let me give you examples:  When speaking in the past tense, we can either say, "They went to the movies," or "They have gone to the movies."  In the second example, have is the helping verb while gone is a past participle. Together they form a past tense.  See below for the correct helping verbs, depending on the subject.
                   I have spoken                        We have helped
                 You have eaten                 You all have seen
            He (she, or it) has been            They have arrived
Often, we contract the subject and helping verb like this:  I've spoken,  You've eaten, It's been ...
   The helping verb "have" is also used with expressions like:  I should have listened,  He would have seen,  You could have called,  They must have eaten.
When a contraction of these expressions is used, they look like this:
   I should've listened to you.    He would've seen us if he'd been on time.  You could've called me.  They must've eaten earlier.

   Sometimes these types of expressions are completely misspelled.  See below:
Example:  I saw this in a book by William Forstchen entitled "One Second After."
   "...it must of cost a fortune."  *I assume he meant to say "it must have cost a fortune" or "it must've cost a fortune."  What he wrote is just wrong.

Example:  In Janet Evanovich's novel "Two for the Dough," bounty hunter and heroine Stephanie Plum is talking to her friend Lula as they snoop around. Lula has broken the apartment window of someone that Stephanie is checking out.   Stephanie says, "I told you we weren't doing anything illegal.  People can't just go around breaking windows."  Lula replies, "Cagney would of done that."
Stephanie:  "Cagney would never have done that."  Lula:  Would of."  Stephanie:  "Would not!"
*Interesting that the author writes correctly what Stephanie says but not what Lula says.  I wonder why that is.

  Sometimes, the verb is just plain missing.
Example:  On an episode of TV's "Army Wives," Denise Sherwood, one of the wives, says to her future daugher-in-law, "How long you been seeing Dr. Hanson?"  *Specifically, "How long have you been seeing Dr. Hanson?"

   Other times, simply the wrong word is used.
Example:  Carl Hiassen wrote this bit in his novel "Sick Puppy."
  "The Governor of Florida is in his office when his phone rings and rings.  Apparently his secretary is not answering it.  He asks, "Is Dorothy gone home already?"  *Perhaps the fact that the Governor used to be a car salesman explains why he has such poor grammar.  Or maybe not.  Who knows?

   I do know, dear Readers, that when we say aloud expressions like "should've," "must've", "could've,"or "would've," it does sound like "should of," "must of," "could of," or "would of."  But of course, that doesn't make them right.  This posting should've explained it for you.